*Warning - Some swearing and violence and general meanness, meant for a laugh. Rated PG-13. **Warning #2 - Some of these things are rude and/or violent and/or very dark. They are not meant in a serious manner - they are for comedic purposes ONLY. Please no one get offended. And please remember that the true meaning of Christmas is not to kill the characters of Sailor Moon. Lianne: More! More! You asked for 'em, you got 'em! Amethist: What are we talking about? Why, PSYCHOTIC SAILOR MOON CHRISTMAS CAROLS, of course! Lianne: They were so popular last year, we simply had to do them again! Amethist: That, and the fact that we recieved a few death threats if we *should* do them again. So, these are partially done in spite! Lianne: Yeah! ThatÕll show those b*stards! Amethist: At any rate, we know the two of us have been rather absent as of late - Lianne from her fics because she was finishing her book - Lianne: Which is done! Which is done! Go to my webpage!! Amethist: AHEM. May I continue? Lianne: And Amethist did the cover! Amethist (blushing): Why ... yes, I did ... Lianne: Go to my webpage! Go to my webpage! Amethist: Ok, ok! We get the point! Lianne: Go to my - Amethist: SHUT UP!!! (tackles Lianne and the two go sprawling down a hill, which just appeared) Random Midget Dressed Like a Koala Bear: Ahem, yes. I am the official spokesman for Baka Shoujo Otaku Inc., here to fill in on the details for those two arguing freaks. (Off-camera Lianne and Amethist): HEY!! RMDLKB: As they were saying, Lianne has just recently completed her book, and Amethist has been swamped with duties and traveling. As such, the company apologizes for a lack of humor being released on the net by the two of them in the past many months, the only recent release being Lianne's solo humorous fic, "Boo! It's Halloween!" This piece is a present to the waiting fans, and a spite-filled bucket of hate for waiting enemies. (Off-camera Lianne and Amethist): DAMN STRAIGHT!! RMDLKB: The company is also here to assure the aforementioned fans and enemies that the final parts of "The Wacky Adventures of Psycho Setsuna," though very behind schedule, will be completed and posted in the near future. They thank you for your patience. (Lianne and Amethist, running back on-camera and shoving the Random Midget Dressed Like a Koala Bear aside): Bobby, what have we TOLD you about being refined with the audience! RMDLKB: I apologize. Was I too formal? Lianne (waving hand): Forgiven. Just remember for next time - swearing makes everything more fun! Amethist: Damn straight! *Disclaimers. They're very, very funny. Remember them? VERY funny. Are you laughing in your remembrance? HAHAHAHHAHAH!! Funny! Yes! You remember! HAHAHAHAHHAHA!!* **These lyrics copyright Lianne Sentar and Amethist Tomoe, December 1998.** Lianne: Well, do we all remember last year's songs? All running around the same general theme? Amethist: Being mean to Michiru, wasnÕt it? Lianne: Yes, and since the Michiru fans of the world have been on our backs, we are here with new and improved songs that are animal-friendly and low-fat! CUE THE CHORUS!!!! Song #1 - DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!!! (Sung to the theme of the Hallelujah Chorus) KILL MICHIRU!!!! KILL MICHIRU!!!! KILL MICHIRU!!!! KILL MICHIRU!!!! KILL MICH...IRU!!!! KILL MICHIRU!!!! KILL MICHI- Amethist: Hold on a second. Didn't we just say we werenÕt gonna do that again this year? Lianne (giggling with sweatdrop): Hehe. Just kidding. The real songs are right here. Song #1 - Fluffy Bunnies and Gumdrop Cakes (Sung to the theme of the Hallelujah Chorus) KILL MICHIRU!!!! KILL MICHIRU!!!! KILL MICHIRU!!!! KILL MICHIRU!!!! KILL MICH...IRU!!!! KILL MICHIRU!!!! KILL MICHI- Amethist: Lianne! Lianne: Sorry, sorry... *Psychotic Sailor Moon Christmas Carols 2* Song #1 - All in Due Time... (Sung to the theme of "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen") God rest ye poor Hotaru-chan The girl who always dies, Not once is she allowed to live A life with kind demise, No, ALWAYS it's a gruesome death With flame or Death Reborn, As the senshi of destruction she's screwed, Royally screwed, It's no fair but she's destined to meet her doom. (2nd Verse) God rest ye poor Hotaru-chan The girl who can't take light, With dizzy spells and possessed dolls She tries to lead her life, But NEVER is a word of kindness Breathed past Senshi lips, No, it's "DIE! You can't be reborn, you're screwed, Royally screwed! If you wake up then the world will meet its doom!" (3rd Verse) God rest ye poor Hotaru-chan A life too cruel to say, But keep your heart, for there will come A time for all to pay! For never lose the thought That you can blow the world to bits, Yes, you see, if youÕre pissed then the world's screwed, Royally screwed! So just hang in there - revenge will be yours soon! Song #2 - Duet of Two People Not So in Love (Sung to the theme of "I'm Dreamin' of a White Christmas") Mamoru: IÕm dreamin' of a new top hat, The one I had was crushed to bits, 'Cause my Lysostrata*, Was placed on toppa That dear, lovely hat of mine... Usagi: I'm dreamin' of a new boyfriend... Mamoru: Hey! Usagi: One that does not do math for fun, 'Cause the one that I have is DRAB... Far too drab for a sweet girl like I. (2nd Verse - slightly more bitter) Mamoru: (Ahem) I'm dreamin' of a long blue skirt, One for that skankin' girl of mine... Usagi: WHAT?! 'Cause no matter what's said, She's half damn naked When we are trying to fight... Usagi: I'm DREAMIN' of a huge KNAPSACK, So Mamo-chan can be shut up, In he'll go to the frozen LAKE, Then no more dumb SPEECHES for I. (3rd Verse) Mamoru: I'm dreamin' of a prenuptual, So that damn kid can't take my dough, Usagi: If you think you have some, Then you are WAY dumb, 'Cause I'm far richer than YOU! Mamoru: I've had it with this damn dest'ny Who says I have to wed that brat? Usagi: Well that's good 'cause I'm seeing Ail**, Bye, big dork - I've HAD it with you!!! * - A Greek satirical play. Ok, so maybe it's not that long, but that's what was needed for the rhyme, OK?! ** - "Alan" in the DIC version Amethist: I think we need another one about killing someone stupid! Lianne: Good idea! Song #3 - Princess Fireball Serves No Purpose (Sung to the theme of "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas") Have yourself a piece of Fireball's brain 'Nough to go around, Mobbing her was far too easy for this rowdy crowd... She did not deserve to be a charac'ter, What'd she ever do? Come and grin and serve as love for Seiya Kou... And that didn't work 'cause he's in love with Sailor Moon! (2nd Verse) Have yourself a look upon the trophy, Fireball's dead meat, Now the Lights are free of this gal who's dumb as a beet... Maybe if she had a line of dialogue, Or some sane advice, She would have lived beyond this one angry night, But sorry girl - you're really just a waste of life! Song #4 - Burn Baby Burn! (Sung to the theme of "Deck the Halls") Deck the halls with Chemistry Books Fa lala lala Lala la la, Throw in Math and Economics Fa lala lala Lala la la, Spray the stuff with gas and oil Fa lala lala Lala la la, Now, no one will have to FOIL* Fa lala lala Lala la la. (2nd Verse) Deck the halls with hats and dresses, Fa lala lala Lala la la, Top it off with pics and glasses Fa lala lala Lala la la, Toss a match and see the burning Fa lala lala Lala la la, Oh! Now why is Ami sobbing? Fa lala lala Lala la la. *FOIL is a procedure in Algebra that's really annoying for high school students. Song #5 (the big finale) - Bye Bye, Forehead Boy! (Sung to the theme of the Hallelujah Chorus) We...HATE TAIKI!!! We...HATE TAIKI!!! WE HATE TAIKI!!! WE HATE TAIKI!!! WE HATE TAI...KI!!! We...HATE TAIKI!!! We...HATE TAIKI!!! WE HATE TAIKI!!! WE HATE TAIKI!!! WE HATE TAI...KI!!! He never says a thing with pur...pose! WE HATE TAIKI!!! WE HATE TAIKI!!! HE'S A PREP, HE'S A DORK, WE HATE TAIKI!!! Put him in a crate, and stick in...sharks! WE HATE TAIKI!!! WE HATE TAIKI!!! HE'S A PREP, HE'S A DORK, WE HATE TAIKI!!! Not knowing the rest of the song and figuring what's there is funny enough, the lyricists now end the song. Amethist: Well, if those sucked, blame Lianne. She wrote most of the lyrics. Lianne: Hey! Amethist: Though personally, I liked the song about Hotaru. And the stuff about sharks. Man, sharks are FUNNY! Random Midget Dressed Like a Koala Bear: Well, Lianne was up 'til late on Christmas Day working on these, and even though she procrastinated, she did put a long time into them and so she apologizes if they're less than stellar. Lianne: Yeah. I dunno - I guess I need more time to put funniness into rhyme. Harder than it looks, y'know! Amethist: At any rate, we'll see you soon with the next part of "The Wacky Adventures of Psycho Setsuna!" Lianne: Good night, all! Merry Christmas, Hannukah, Kwanzaa, Ramadhan, and every other holiday going on right now! ˙